Admittedly, the bar is pretty low. 2016 may go down as one of the worst years in history. We lost a lot this year and it’s time to rebuild, rebrand, and get back to work. Apart from hiding under the covers with wine and chocolate, your only other option is to come out swinging and take 2017 by the balls (see how this works? There’ll be no “pussy grabbing” in 2017).
So, drag yourself out of bed, brush the crumbs of 2016 out of your hair, jump into a nice hot shower, and get ready— 2017 is about to be amazing!
1. Build Yourself a New Website. Nothing says “rebrand” like a brand new website! Forget about blogging. We’ve all expressed ourselves enough the past few years. Facebook and Twitter are there if you need to tell the world anything. In 2017, you need to define yourself. Show the world who you are, what you want, and name your price. Do not be shy. This is your site, your place, your terms, and your rules. If you don’t have a website of your own, you’re not really in the game, are you? If you don’t have the time or skill to build your own site, hire someone who can. Spend some time reflecting on what you really want to create in the next year and then add “.com”.
2. LeanIn to Linked-In. Yes, it matters. Just do it. Clean up wordy job descriptions. Weed out jobs you had more than 10 years ago, nobody cares. And rewrite your Summary already! If you copy/pasted it from your resume, I don’t even want to know you.
3. Headshot! Time for an amazing new headshot. Invest in a professional photographer and good haircut. Show 2017 you mean business. Use this photo for your new website and updated Linked-In profile. Hell, get a Warhol-esque portrait made while you’re at it!
4. Get A New Workout Routine. Forget about Yoga. No more walks in the woods. We’re pissed off this year. Take a fitness class that focuses on self-defense or martial arts. You’ll feel stronger and you’ll be healthier. If 2016 almost kicked your ass, show 2017 you’re coming at it, full throttle.
5. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke. Seriously. Don’t let them get to you. You do you. As a wise woman once said, “When you’re knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can’t or shouldn’t go on.”